Is it halal to use corporal punishment to chatise my wife for wearing make-up and scanty western garb?

THE HUSBAND - RULER OF THE HOUSE
Just as a nation requires a suitable ruler for the proper and efficient functioning of the affairs of the society, the house unit too requires a suitable ruler for the proper and efficient functioning of the affairs of the house. The Qur'an and Ahãdith are replete with the appointment of the husband as the ruler of the house.

However, it is essential that the husband understand that along with this appointment follows many responsibilities. This appointment as a ruler is not a license to misdirect authority and oppress the wife.

FEAR FOR ALLAH
The husband must understand that before he is committed to his wife, he is first committed to Allah Taála. We believe in the concept of accountability after death. The husband must constantly be conscious of standing before the Court of Allah Taála and giving an account to Allah of his dealings with his wife.

NATURE OF THE WOMAN
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This Hadith indicates that a woman has shortcomings by nature.

1 It is the nature of a woman to make great materialistic demands.

2 She nags for her demands.

3 She is obstinate.

Although the Hadith is indicative to her shortcomings, the husband is indirectly addressed to condition the brain and attitude to be tolerant and accept the shortcomings as her natural instinct.

TOLERANCE : CONTAINING ONESELF.
It is obvious that the husband gets affected with situations adverse to his nature. He gets angry. Rasulullah (() has guided us to adopt some measures to suppress the anger. If the angry person is standing, he must sit down. If he is still angry, he must lie down.

A strong person is he who contains his anger. Rasulullah (SAW) said, "Whosoever swallows his anger whilst he is able to exercise it, Allah Taála fills his heart with peace".

INCIDENTS
Hadhrat Umar (Radhialaahu Anhu)'s wife once told him, 'I know you go around the streets of Medinah on the pretext of inspection but your motive is to see the young girls'.

This statement is sure to aggravate Hadhrat Umar (Radhiallaahu Anhu) but he contained himself and said, 'Allah knows best my intentions'. One pious person saw his friend in his dream after he died. He asked his friend, 'How did Allah deal with you'. He said, 'Once I was tired and hungry and when I came home my wife dished out rice. The rice did not have salt in it. Although I was upset and angry, I contained myself. I did not express my anger on my wife. Upon this tolerance Allah Taála forgave me'.

If a person has his daughter married, he would like his son-in-law to be tolerant to his daughter's shortcomings. So too should one be towards his own wife's shortcomings.

One should think, I am so sinful to Allah Taála, yet Allah is so tolerant and kind. He did not punish me for my sins. Despite my sins, he feeds me and clothes me. The husband must compare his shortcomings in fulfilling the rights of Allah Taála with the shortcomings of his wife in fulfilling his rights. This will help him to understand that he is comparatively weaker in fulfilling his rights to Allah Taála than his wife to him.

TALAAQ
Rasulullah (SAW) said, "Amongst permissible things, the most disliked is divorce"
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Husbands must understand that Talaaq is like a gun. A slight squeeze of the trigger is enough. A word of divorce, thus the termination of the Nikah. It must never be used just to threaten the wife.

Every husband and wife have some misunderstandings. However, threats of Talaq must not be used to silence her.

The husband must apply a dignified method to explain and pacify the situation.

MASAAIL ON TALAAQ
Words - Ruling
Distinct - Rajíee
Ambigious - Baáin

Explain the implications of Rajíee and Baáin.
However, if 3 Talaaqs are given, it is not irrevocable. Discourage the giving of Talaaq.

REFORM

Allah says, "Advise them (the women) and leave them (in sleeping with them) and hit them"
The verse clearly indicates that there should be a reformation process.

1st Advise - Make up her mind - condition her to be obedient.

2nd Advise - If she is still rebellious then separate beds.

3rd Advise - If she still disobeys then within very specific and distinct measures he is given permission to lightly discipline her.

Such using of force is just to jolt her to obey. Physical abuse to satisfy the anger is Haraam.

RIGHTS OF WIFE
Feeding

Clothing

Shelter (Surah Talaaq Vs. 6)

Generally, many marriages break up because of the husband not fulfilling the rights of the wife. - Elaborate and speak on husbands being adequately generous.

IN-LAWS
Marriage is a matter of giving and taking beyond principles. Sacrifice makes a happy home.

Husband must respect his in-laws and vice versa. However, in many cases - either of the spouses, one is not familiar with the in-laws and interference from in-laws causes a bitterness in the marriage. In order to avoid external interference between the spouses, the Shariah has stipulated as a precaution that:

1 the wife has a right for A SEPARATE QUARTERS to maintain her privacy; 2 the husband cannot compel the wife to stay with his parents. Yes, if she consents on her own without pressure, then it is her choice; and 3 the husband too can stop his in-laws from coming into his house.

"The Prophet (SAW) said during 'Hajjatul Widãá' "Fear Allah about women, for verily you have taken them with the trust of Allah Taála."

Hahrath Moulana Saheb, this is only a brief guideline.

The end