Please tell me if my brother is allowed to find a wife over the internet.
Question
My brother has been chatting to a woman over the internet on a pure Islamic wish to find a suitable woman to marry.I wish to know if this is permittable and if it is, what is the extent that they can go to.
Answer
Kindly refer below our standard reply to similar queries.
and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
FATWA DEPT.
There are two fundamental aspects in choosing a marriage partner, a) The outward appearance, b) The ideology and character of the person.
Generally, as well as naturally, the outward appearance of a person is given prominence before considering the ideology and character of the person. Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) also encouraged the boy and girl to see one another for the purpose of marriage. (Mishkaat). It is, therefore, advisable to first choose one's prospective marriage partner and thereafter enquire about his/her ideology and character through avenues permissible in Shari'ah, for example, friends, associates and family members. Shari'ah also emphasizes one making Mashwara (consult) and make Istikhaara (seek Divine Guidance) before deciding. How much can one achieve by talking to the boy or girl directly to determine his/her character and ideology?
Surely, the boy and girl will be as impressive as possible to pass the test. That is not the normal conduct of the person which will be expressed in his day to day life. There are many negative factors, if the procedure is reversed, and prominence is given to communicating with the person, to determine his character and ideology.
a) Can the person you are chatting with be trusted? There are many incidents of chatting in the context of marriage but have led to illicit and immoral relationships. Many people, especially, women have been misled and abused. b) If the boy and girl consider themselves compatible in ideology and character but disapprove one another's outward appearance, that will lead to grief and agony as the communication was in the context of marriage. The momentum has been built and now it's against the expectations of one or both parties.
Life is too dear to tread on unwarranted risk and thin ice. One should exercise precaution in every aspect of life.
- Answered by
- Mufti Ebrahim Desai
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