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Question
Assalamu Alaikum In one of your answers you have adviced, "If a person is of a marriageable age, his/her seniors should inform people and request their assistance in getting a compatible marriage partner". My parents have also informed people and have requested to tell them if someone is searching for a marriage partner for their son. My relatives always tell my parents about people who are not appropriate for me; with whom I don't feel comfortable marrying. For example: people who do not follow Islam properly, or whose family background is not suitable for me. My aunts also tell my parents about proposals for me that they don't want their daughters to marry because of the male's negative qualities. They even tell my mom that they do not want their daughters to marry those men because of the negative qualities that they have known in the man or his family members. However, they pressure my mom to accept the proposal because the man is rich (because we are not as rich as our relatives). When my mom does not accept the proposal because she does not find the man suitable for me and I also do not feel comfortable, then the relatives say things such as where will the good proposals come for me and just because I am beautiful I should not think that there will be many good people to marry me. This situation always depresses me. What should I do? Jazakallah
Answer
1) Muslims elsewhere are suffering severely at the hands of the kuffaar. This is a test by which Allah Ta'ala is gauging their Imaan. Make Shukr unto Allah Ta'ala that He is not testing your Imaan in such a severe manner, but simply through the ranting of a few relatives. Be patient and do not let their words effect you. Make Dua for their well-being and guidance. This is all a test from Allah Ta'ala.
2) Your marriage partner has been predestined for you. You will get married when and to whom Allah Ta'ala sees fit for you. While we are required to adopt the correct worldly means, we should resign the final outcome in the hands of Allah Ta'ala.
3) Do not be hasty in making a decision about marriage. Always give preference to the Deeni qualities of the person under consideration. 4) It is efficacious in such a situation to recite 500 Durood upon Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam daily. Insha-Allah it is our fervent Dua that Allah Ta'ala will soon grant you a pious husband who will look after your Deen and your worldly needs as well. Aameen.
and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
FATWA DEPT.
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- Mufti Ebrahim Desai
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