What is the best way to make our children obedient to Allah (S.W.T.), our Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.S.), and the parents?

Kindly refer to Upbringing of Children by Moulana Moosa Olgar

PARENTS AND THEIR ROLE IN THE UPBRINGING OF CHILDREN

Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said: "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects and the man is a guardian of his family, the lady is a guardian of her husband's house and his off-spring and all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects'.

After having children the first and foremost desire of parents is to prepare them for a bright and successful future. Thus every parent hopes and wishes that their children be pious with excellent character but this can only be achieved if the correct method towards this goal is adopted and the right environment created from the very beginning. It is very important to note that the spiritual upbringing is far more important than the physical upbringing.

Although the environment prior to the child's birth is very important, so too is the environment into which the child is born, as the actual upbringing starts in the mother's lap which is the first MADRASAH for the child.

Although the father plays an important role in educating the child, the mother plays a more important and greater role in this process. Rather it can rightly be said that the mother contributes the greater share and plays the best role in the early training and education of her children. Moreover the mother is more loving, kind and patient than the father, she is nearer to the children and they are more free and attached to her. This makes the mother more capable of educating and training her children in the most proper way.

The meaning of this is: Every child is born pure. It is the environment created by his parents that determines his future. It is absolutely necessary to understand that before you expect your child to learn the ways of Islam, the parents have to be practising Muslims themselves. Parents should set a good example in front of their children. Therefore for the parents to be practising Muslims is of utmost importance for the Islamic upbringing of their children. Regarding parents, this poem is best suited: "The parent is like a mirror, the reflection it gives, the child adopts. If the reflection is good, the child is good. If the reflection is bad, the child is bad".

Remember, the entire future of the child depends entirely on the parent's teachings, training and environment in which the parent's bring up their child. The home environment and the parent's upbringing of the child either makes or mars the child's future. If the home environment is Islamic, then the child will be religiously inclined, but if the home environment is unIslamic, then the child will develop irreligious traits and habits in himself. Because the child does not come from a solid Islamic home, he is unaware of the gems and jewels of Islam due to lack of Islamic knowledge and education. Copper, brass and gravel of other religions look dazzling and beautiful in his eyes.If the child hears music and watches television, then he will want to imitate the singers and the T.V. stars. On the other hand, if the words of Allah Taa'la (i.e the Quraan) keeps falling in his ears and the lives of Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) and the Sahaaba (radiyallahu anhum) are related to him, then he will develop good qualities and try to imitate Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) and the Sahaaba (radiyallahu anhum). Remember, if the home environment is not Islamic, how do we expect the child to become a fine and respectable Muslim servant of Allah?

If religious education and training are given from childhood, the child on growing up will definitely understand the rights of the parents and elders and will respect them. If the child has been deprived of religious education and training by careless and neglectful parents, he will not discharge the rights that he has to towards his parents^Many parents complain that their children are ill-mannered, disobedient and disrespectful. The cause of their disobedience is only the fault of the parents, as they, on account of their greed for worldly things and love for money, kept their children blank in religious education. To earn their livelihood and to fill their bellies, parents are keeping their children aloof from religious education, and instead involve them in profane education and worldly pursuits, thus making them irreligious. There is none to educate these innocent children and to train and inculcate Islamic morals into them. How will the fear of Allah be instilled into their minds? Since attaining the age of sensitivity, the love of money, beautiful clothes and houses, fast cars etc. has entered his heart and he now remains occupied day and night with the thought of these things only and keeps trying to acquire them. He cares not if in acquiring these things, he may be depriving or destroying the rights of others.(In his greed of acquiring worldly goods, high medical, legal and engineering degrees, he is ready to waste the invaluable wealth of IMAAN. Such men can cause ruin to the community and in creating a struggle for power, are in fact proving to be the disintegrators of institutions. What now can the religion and community expect from this kind of upbringing?-! How can the parents then say that the youth "the fresh blood" do not obey the parents, do not help the weak, the widows and the orphans, and do not take interest in works concerning the masaajid and madaaris? The parents themselves have not taught them to do these acts. The young people are even ignorant of the reward for obeying their parents and of the punishment for disobeying them. How many Ahaadith do they know? And how many Ahaadith have they been asked to memorise? Not a single answer will be received to any of these questions. Then what else can you expect from such ignorant youth?

Nowadays parents say: O' look at my son, he shows no respect to his parents or they say: look at what my daughter has done, she has no DEEN in her. But alas! do they ever ask themselves why? Why has my child no DEEN in him? The parents eventually refuse to take the blame for their son's or daughter's evil actions. But, ponder, whose fault is this? This fault is none other than the parents themselves. To them it is definitely not their fault, as they brought their child up, nurtured him, gave the best food, the best clothes, took him wherever he wanted gave him plenty of money, and did whatever he wanted, as he was their special child. But the main and essential thing the parent forgot or rather did not feel it necessary to give the child was religious education and tarbiyat. Now as the child grows up, his greed for worldly material things has blinded his sense of morals. Oh yes! you wonder what morals? That's right, the child has no Islamic morals or education whatsoever. So now, how can you expect morals and good habits from him, if you did not inculcate it into him. The child now feels that there is nothing wrong in disobeying his parents. He now adopts the western ways which are prevalent today and which has no place for parents as Islam does.

Amongst westerners when their parents reach old age they no longer care for them. Instead in a cruel way, they place them in old age homes. The very same parents who brought them up, fed them, clothed them, gave them everything, the same mother who gave birth to him, nurtured him, spent sleepless nights, and now all of a sudden they are considered too much of a burden to be cared for. This my dear reader, is the western attitude and if you as a parent fail to impart deeni education and training to your children, then they will definitely receive education and influences of a different standard. A way of the westerners! and due to your negligence you may also be thrown out by your own very special child. The difference between Muslims and non-Muslims is that Muslims impart religious education and training to their children, thus making them successful in both the worldly life and the life of the hereafter. So remember parent's, it is YOU who make a big difference ! It is your teachings and tarbiyat which will mould your child into a respectable Islamic conscious person. But Alas! the parent, harpe upon their own rights and grumble against the children. Likewise, think of the basic cause whereby the children became disobedient. No doubt the parents have a right to claim the fulfilment of their rights from their children. But since the parents are unaware of the children's rights and their rightful demand, they do not discharge their own responsibility and as a consequence the children become disobedient. It was the parent's primary duty to give religious education and training to the children, but instead of that they made them become involved in worldly pursuits.

However by paying attention to the crucial necessity of giving religious education during childhood, an effort should be made to create an emotion and fervour for IMAAN in the hearts of the children. (The imparting of religious education will make them conscious of Allah's rights, the rights of elders, widows, orphans and parents, whereby they will consider the discharging of these rights as an act of reward and the cause of success and prosperity in the world and religion.

But if children are kept away from religious education, then what we are observing today is definitely going to happen. Parents and elders who do not discharge the children's rights and miss the opportunity of acquitting themselves of their responsibility, will not find the children fulfilling their parent's rights when they grow up. Such children rather than being useful will prove to be harmful to the community.

The following two stories (anecdotes) refer to those parents who fail to impart deeni education and training to their children. Read them carefully and take lesson from them!

Abul Laith Samarqandi (R.A) has related that a man brought his son to Hazrat Umar (radiyallahu anhu) and said: "My son does not obey me, he! is disobedient to me". Hearing this Hazrat Umar (radiyallahu anhu) said: j "O' boy, don't you know what rights a father has on his son?" Thereafter he narrated the rights of a father on his children. The boy said: "O' Commander of the faithful! Do the children too have any rights on their; ; father?" Hazrat Umar (radiyallahu anhu) said: "Yes! the children too have! i rights on their father". "What are those rights"? asked the boy. Hazrat!