Husband not fulfilling the rights of his wife
Question
My husband doesn’t spend time with me, nor does he provide me with clothes. He spends Saturday and Sunday with his friends. I am finding it increasingly difficult to be intimate with him. Please advise me! I have no inclination towards him. I have a small business which aids me to fulfill my needs. He is quite wealthy. I do the cooking, maintain the house and oversee the rental properties that he owns.
Answer
It is the duty of your husband to provide you with food, clothing and accommodation. It is, therefore, incorrect for him to make you purchase your own clothing. He should provide you with at least two sets of clothing in the year, one set for summer and one for winter. This is the minimum requirement. You should also inform him that you desire to spend your time with him, hence his absence during the weekends is now affecting you. By doing so, he will become aware of his error and perhaps rectify the matter.
Alhamdulillah, it is really pleasing to note that you are fulfilling your duties towards him as a wife. You should continue doing so, and never refuse him his conjugal rights even though you may be disinclined towards him. At the same time, perform two Rakaats of Salaah daily and ask Allah Ta’ala to resolve this matter. Continue doing so until Allah Ta’ala resolves your matter.
References (Arabic / Urdu sources)
وَفِي الْيَنَابِيعِ إذَا كَانَ مُعْسِرًا يُفْرَضُ عَلَيْهِ فِي الشِّتَاءِ دِرْعٌ هَرَوِيٌّ وَمِلْحَفَةٌ وَخِمَارٌ وَكِسَاءٌ وَفِي الصَّيْفِ دِرْعٌ وَخِمَارٌ وَمِلْحَفَةٌ وَإِنْ كَانَ مُوسِرًا يُفْرَضُ عَلَيْهِ فِي الشِّتَاءِ دِرْعٌ هَرَوِيٌّ وَمِلْحَفَةٌ دِينَوَرِيَّةٌ وَخِمَارٌ إبْرَيْسَمٌ وَكِسَاءٌ وَلِخَادِمِهَا قَمِيصٌ وَإِزَارٌ وَكِسَاءٌ وَيُفْرَضُ لَهَا فِي الصَّيْفِ دِرْعٌ سَابُورِيٌّ وَخِمَارٌ إبْرَيْسَمٌ وَمِلْحَفَةٌ، وَلَوْ فُرِضَ لَهَا الْكِسْوَةُ فِي مُدَّةِ سِتَّةِ أَشْهُرٍ لَيْسَ لَهَا شَيْءٌ حَتَّى تَمْضِيَ الْمُدَّةُ فَإِنْ تَخَرَّقَتْ قَبْلَ مُضِيِّهَا إنْ كَانَتْ بِحَيْثُ لَوْ لَبِسَتْهَا مُعْتَادًا لَمْ تَتَخَرَّقْ لَمْ تَجِبْ وَإِلَّا وَجَبَتْ وَإِنْ بَقِيَ الثَّوْبُ بَعْدَ الْمُدَّةِ إنْ كَانَ بَقَاؤُهُ لِعَدَمِ اللُّبْسِ أَوْ لِلُبْسِ ثَوْبٍ غَيْرِهِ أَوْ لِلُبْسِهِ يَوْمًا دُونَ يَوْمٍ فَإِنَّهُ يُفْرَضُ لَهَا كِسْوَةٌ أُخْرَى وَإِلَّا فَلَا وَكَذَا إذَا أَمْسَكَتْ نَفَقَتَهَا وَلَمْ تُنْفِقْهَا فَإِنَّهُ يُفْرَضُ لَهَا نَفَقَةٌ أُخْرَى فَإِنْ لَبِسَتْ كِسْوَتَهَا لُبْسًا مُعْتَادًا فَتَخَرَّقَتْ قَبْلَ الْوَقْتِ جَدَّدَ لَهَا أُخْرَى وَإِذَا لَمْ تَتَخَرَّقْ فِي الْمُدَّةِ لَا يَجِبُ غَيْرُهَا قَالَ الْخُجَنْدِيُّ.(الجوهرة النيرة ص 84ج2)
- Answered by
- Mufti Mohammed Desai
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