Linking oneself to a pious person

I am a 21 year old from the US. I have committed so much wrong in these past couple of years and feel lost in this world without Allah because I’ve tried living both ways but subhanallah no matter how hard I try to stick to the sunnah I go back to my wrong doing. I cry almost every night to the point where I’m asking Allah if I’m being tested or punished. I ask for His help every night and cry and beg Him to keep me away and I know that Allah knows best. I know He’s the only one that can help me. I know that no one knows me better than He does and I want to be close to Him again. I want my life and heart and mind filled with noor and iman.