Istikhaarah Prior To A Proposal
Question
Would it be better if a girl gets references for a prospective spouse, and makes Istikhaarah before permitting him to meet her? What would the best approach be?
Answer
Generally, Istikhaarah is made when one is uncertain about a matter, seeking guidance from Allah Ta’ala to make a right decision. When you have not yet seen the boy, how will you know whether he is a suitable person or not. Hence, we advise that you should first find out references regarding the boy. If he fulfils your criteria and is particular of Deen, Salaah etc., then you should allow him to come see you and then make Istikhaarah.
Hadrat Anas bin Malik Radiallahu Anhu reports that Hadrat Mughirah bin Shubah Radiallahu Anhu wanted to marry a woman. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said to him: “Go and look at her, for that is more likely to create love between you.” So, he did that, and married her, and mentioned how well he got along with her.
References (Arabic / Urdu sources)
عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ، أَنَّ الْمُغِيرَةَ بْنَ شُعْبَةَ، أَرَادَ أَنْ يَتَزَوَّجَ، امْرَأَةً فَقَالَ لَهُ النَّبِيُّ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ
“اذْهَبْ فَانْظُرْ إِلَيْهَا فَإِنَّهُ أَحْرَى أَنْ يُؤْدَمَ بَيْنَكُمَا “ . فَفَعَلَ فَتَزَوَّجَهَا فَذَكَرَ مِنْ مُوَافَقَتِهَا. (سنن ابن ماجة #1865)
- Answered by
- Mufti Abdul Kader Fazlani
- Checked & approved by
- Mufti Yacoob Vally Saheb
Fatawa SA is an independent, read-only index of fatawa already published by Darul Ifta Ibn Masood. It is not a fatwa service. For your own situation, ask the issuing Darul Ifta directly.