Communication Between Prospective Suitors
Question
When a boy comes to see a girl with the prospect of marriage in mind, how much should they interact with each other? Should a Mahram of the girl be present or should they be left alone?
Answer
There shouldn’t be any communication between the boy and girl. The boy should ascertain the personality, character and lifestyle from the Mahrams of the girl, or, his close, female relatives should enquire on his behalf. If he determines that there is a possibility of Nikaah, he should look at the girl to see if she is physically attractive to him. Under no circumstances should they be alone together. Even when looking at her before confirming a proposal, her Mahram should be present.
References (Arabic / Urdu sources)
عَنْ أَبِي، هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ كُنْتُ عِنْدَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَأَتَاهُ رَجُلٌ فَأَخْبَرَهُ أَنَّهُ تَزَوَّجَ امْرَأَةً مِنَ الأَنْصَارِ فَقَالَ لَهُ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ” أَنَظَرْتَ إِلَيْهَا ” . قَالَ لاَ . قَالَ ” فَاذْهَبْ فَانْظُرْ إِلَيْهَا فَإِنَّ فِي أَعْيُنِ الأَنْصَارِ شَيْئًا ” (مسلم ١٤٢٤)
لَا يَخْلُوَنَّ رَجُلٌ بامْرَأَةٍ إلَّا وَمعهَا ذُو مَحْرَمٍ، وَلَا تُسَافِرِ المَرْأَةُ إلَّا مع ذِي مَحْرَمٍ، فَقَامَ رَجُلٌ، فَقالَ: يا رَسولَ اللهِ، إنَّ امْرَأَتي خَرَجَتْ حَاجَّةً، وإنِّي اكْتُتِبْتُ في غَزْوَةِ كَذَا وَكَذَا، قالَ: انْطَلِقْ فَحُجَّ مع امْرَأَتِكَ (مسلم ١٣٤١)
- Answered by
- Mufti Umar Farooq Rangila
- Checked & approved by
- Mufti Yacoob Vally Saheb
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