Darul Ifta Ibn Masood

Living Separately From In-Laws

· 9 Jumada I 1448 AH1 min readEnglish

Question

Before marriage, the living arrangements were agreed upon where the husband and wife would reside with his parents. However, a few months into the marriage, the wife has had a change of heart and would prefer to live separately from her in-laws. How can she resolve this issue?

Answer

Generally, we advise couples that, in current times, if the husband can afford it and there will be no harm caused to the parents (in regards to making their Khidmah), then it is best to stay separately from one’s in-laws. Many a times staying together draws many unwanted problems in the Nikaah. Staying separately and the hearts being united is better than staying together whilst the hearts are disunited.

If your husband can afford staying separately, you should explain this to him when he is in a good mood. However, if he cannot afford it, then there is no compulsion upon him as long as he is providing the basic necessities of housing (a specific room for you which no one has access to).

References (Arabic / Urdu sources)

وَعَلَى الزَّوْجِ أَنْ يُسْكِنَهَا فِي دَارٍ مُفْرَدَةٍ لَيْسَ فِيهَا أَحَدٌ مِنْ أَهْلِهِ إلَّا أَنْ تَخْتَارَ ذَلِكَ) لِأَنَّ السُّكْنَى مِنْ كِفَايَتِهَا فَتَجِبُ لَهَا كَالنَّفَقَةِ، وَقَدْ أَوْجَبَهُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى مَقْرُونًا بِالنَّفَقَةِ، وَإِذَا وَجَبَ حَقًّا لَهَا لَيْسَ لَهُ أَنْ يُشْرِكَ غَيْرَهَا فِيهِ لِأَنَّهَا تَتَضَرَّرُ بِهِ، فَإِنَّهَا لَا تَأْمَنُ عَلَى مَتَاعِهَا، وَيَمْنَعُهَا ذَلِكَ مِنْ الْمُعَاشَرَةِ مَعَ زَوْجِهَا وَمِنْ الِاسْتِمْتَاعِ، إلَّا أَنْ تَخْتَارَ لِأَنَّهَا رَضِيَتْ بِانْتِقَاصِ حَقِّهَا (وَإِنْ كَانَ لَهُ وَلَدٌ مِنْ غَيْرِهَا فَلَيْسَ لَهُ أَنْ يُسْكِنَهُ مَعَهَا) لِمَا بَيَّنَّا وَلَوْ أَسْكَنَهَا فِي بَيْتٍ مِنْ الدَّارِ مُفْرَدٍ وَلَهُ غَلْقٌ كَفَاهَا لِأَنَّ الْمَقْصُودَ قَدْ حَصَلَ.

(وَلَهُ أَنْ يَمْنَعَ وَالِدَيْهَا وَوَلَدَهَا مِنْ غَيْرِهِ وَأَهْلَهَا مِنْ الدُّخُولِ عَلَيْهَا)

لِأَنَّهَا إذَا تَزَوَّجَتْ بِإِذْنِ الْمَوْلَى، فَهِيَ كَالْحُرَّةِ فَلَا تَحْتَاجُ إلَى التَّبْوِئَةِ لِاسْتِحْقَاقِ النَّفَقَةِ لِأَنَّ مَنَافِعَهَا عَلَى حُكْمِ مِلْكِهَا لِصَيْرُورَتِهَا أَخَصَّ بِنَفْسِهَا وَبِمَنَافِعِهَا بِعَقْدِ الْكِتَابَةِ، وَلِهَذَا لَمْ يَبْقَ لِلْمَوْلَى وِلَايَةُ الِاسْتِخْدَامِ فَكَانَتْ كَالْحُرَّةِ

(العناية شرح الهداية 4/397)

ا (قَوْلُهُ وَبَيْتٍ مُنْفَرِدٍ) أَيْ مَا يُبَاتُ فِيهِ؛ وَهُوَ مَحَلٌّ مُنْفَرِدٌ مُعَيَّنٌ قُهُسْتَانِيٌّ. وَالظَّاهِرُ أَنَّ الْمُرَادَ بِالْمُنْفَرِدِ مَا كَانَ مُخْتَصًّا بِهَا لَيْسَ فِيهِ مَا يُشَارِكُهَا بِهِ أَحَدٌ مِنْ أَهْلِ الدَّارِ (قَوْلُهُ لَهُ غَلَقٌ) بِالتَّحْرِيكِ: مَا يُغْلَقُ وَيُفْتَحُ بِالْمِفْتَاحِ قُهُسْتَانِيٌّ

(كتاب حاشية ابن عابدين 3/600)

Answered by
Mufti Abdul Kader Fazlani
Checked & approved by
Mufti Yacoob Vally Saheb
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Source: Darul Ifta Ibn Masood — https://fataawa.co.za/living-separately-from-in-laws/
Fatawa SA: https://fatawa.co.za/fatwa/ibnmasood-48101

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